Nuclear matters
As contemporary satire is dead, today's news comes from the year 2070.
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Man lacks gene to enable
him to triumph over his poor genetic inheritance.
After many hours of intensive genetic therapy, Dr Specht was proud to be able to report that local resident Mervin Peacock will now be safe from the triple scourges of haemophilia, Parkinson's disease and colour blindness. Professional ethics compelled Dr Specht to add that Mr Peacock will always be a talentless cretin. - Nuclear power station to be
decomissioned 30 years earlier than expected.
Residents of Sellafield (né Windscale) were delighted to learn that the final decommisioning of the nuclear power plant located in their unsuspecting little hamlet is now expected to be completed almost 30 years ahead of schedule. Plans for the building of the new childrens' playground ‘Fallout zone’ have accordingly been moved ahead to 9160. - Bullet point shot.
