Obit, Peter Birr
We regret to report the tragic death of Peter ‘loner’ Birr. After having been forced at gunpoint to read such an excess of dispiriting and cynical outpourings as could only eminate from a crazed and embittered mind, Birr felt compelled to take his own life. Citing ‘the blatant pointlessness of existence’ as his reason Birr surrounded himself by ten-thousand copies of the ‘The Onion, Our Dumb Century’ before self-immolating.